working mama...

I am officially a working (out of the home) mom.

21 hours of each week, plus commuting hours, will be dedicated to something other than taking care of my baby. Attending to the needs of a program, at an agency, far from my home. Making sure requirements are fulfilled, teaching adults new skills to better their service delivery, e-mailing, speaking on the phone…and being away from where I really want to be.

My maternity leave was an almost always wonderful and far too short 6 months and 10 days. I know that extended time was a blessing and I am further blessed by being able to work an abbreviated week. I get it. But, today, I’m allowing myself a bit of a pity party as I sit at a borrowed desk, at a borrowed computer until I’m assigned my own desk at my new office. Pumping every few hours and trying not to think of the obvious Bessie comparisons. Still, yesterday was quick. A training day that kept me busy and distracted.

Today, is a different story.

On day one in the office, I was able to cross off every item on my to do list in about a nano-second, leaving the rest of the day to sit and think about what I could be doing at home with G. Crud. Keeping busy is clearly essential to my survival right about now. I know it should get a bit easier day by day and that once a routine is established it will be okay.

The relality is this: the very best part of my first day back at work was the homecoming. I walked into my in-law's house and heard G giggling in the next room. I put down my bags, quickly slipped off my shoes and made a beeline for him. The moment he saw me, I was rewarded with a big, gummy grin and his little chubby arms stretched out to me as if to say, "Oh there you are Mama, welcome home."