public service announcement...

Just so we are clear about this:

Newly married =/= immediate baby factory

I am mystified. Beginning just days after our wedding, people have been inappropriately asking if I am pregnant yet. Since when does being in the presence of a newlywed mean that you can throw good manners and common sense out the window? Don't misunderstand me, I do know that most of this comes from a "good place" and is "well meaning". But, trust me. It doesn't feel so well meaning when it's your uterus under scrutiny.

How are women supposed to respond to this question? "Gee, no, but we're sure giving it every effort!" or "Um, none of your business?" or, my current favorite, "First you tell me about YOUR sex life and then, maybe I'll share mine." There is no safe way to answer. If you say no, you get pity. If you answer that you're not ready yet, or something of the kind, you get all kinds of advice about time lines. If you come out with a snide remark or comeback, you are a b*tch.

See? Lose - lose.

So please, I beg you, if you are even thinking of asking...don't.

Newlyweds will be eternally grateful!


Mary said...

we were lucky, since i'm 'older' (37 when we got married) people didn't kill us with that one..although we got our fair share. We just said "probably start thinking that way around 6 months after the wedding". People don't seem to ask "how's it going" now that we're there... :)

nfaband said...

Aw Jen ... I sure remember that myself, it did stink. In my case everyone thought I was pregnant when I married the first time, hmmm I had my DD 2 years later. I always just answered "when the time is right I'll think about it and maybe if you're lucky I'll let you know when it happens." Oops maybe that was kind of *itchy! LOL ... just smile and change the conversation.

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