i couldn't make this stuff up if i tried...

I don't post a  whole lot about my job here because, well, there are too many reasons to count.  Though I like most of what I do, there are also definite, huge drawbacks.  The main office location is one of those many negatives. But, every once in a while something happens at work that bears sharing.  Episodes that are generally filed under: "You can't make this stuff up." 

Several weeks ago, as I was setting up for a CPR class, students started coming in one by one.  They would say hello, quietly choose a seat and settle in. One of the last students to arrive, blazed into the room in a manner all her own.  Her presentation was, um...confusing. Most students come to class dressed in business casual attire or dressed down in jeans and t-shirts, both completely appropriate for the training. 

Not this one.

She was dressed in denim hot pants, a plunging v-neck shirt that made an impressive display of her wares and a 4 inch high rhinestone tiara, complete with matching chandelier necklace. She loudly introduced herself and asked, "Are you a fun trainer or, should I plan to fall asleep?" Awesome. Later in the day, this same individual came back form the lunch break 20 minutes late explaining, "Well, I already know this stuff anyway."  That is when I noticed what I had somehow overlooked that morning.  She had a full set of upper and lower rhinestone grillz. Double awesome.

Fast forward to this morning. 

I work in one of the oldest buildings in the Bronx.  Old as in, not quite ready to be condemned but, it's time is coming. Things work when they want to around here.  Non-essential things like elevators, computer servers, plumbing and air conditioning. Thank you antiquated wiring and shoddy patch jobs.

Needing to use the facilities this morning, I approached the door of the only bathroom in our office (one stall, unisex, for over 50 employees).  The door was locked but, knocking revealed that it was not occupied.  I walked upstairs to our other floor of offices and inquired about a key. "Oh, there's no key.  The office manager has a special trick to open it with a credit card but, he's not in right now." That makes total sense.

So, I walked through the office to the one bathroom on that floor (again, one stall, unisex, for over 50 employees).  It was unoccupied but, after flipping the light switch several times, the light would not come on.  Which would be fine except for the fact that there is no other light source in the bathroom and trying to navigate the plumbing in the complete, pitch black darkness was not happening.  A co-worker walked past and I asked her advice, "Yeah, that light is temperamental.  Stand on your tip toes and jiggle the light bulb.  That works sometimes.  Or, you know, there is always the public bathroom in the hallway." Referring to the bathroom that is used for the mandated drug testing office down the hall. Thankfully the light jiggling trick worked.

Hi ho, hi ho, back to work I go...